Women’s Power Circles – my personal experience

The title of Rosjke Hasseldine’s book "The Silent Female Scream" resonated with me as soon as I heard the author’s brief synopsis at a networking event last year. In fact I was recommending it to many people before even having read it myself.

I already knew from my own life experience, as well as from the wonderful people I have been privileged to coach, that it is inevitably our beliefs which hold us back, or cause us to put on the brakes. For women, many of these beliefs are linked to our culture’s “accepted” perception of the woman’s role.

Rosjke’s extensively researched book, backed by her own psychotherapy practice, gives a clear insight into how this perception is passed on from generation to generation, and how women themselves, often without realising it, perpetuate inequality. The good news is this; if we are responsible we also have the power to change if we choose to.

To sustain change as an individual though is incredibly difficult when we still need to live and operate in the society and culture that does not necessarily like or support that change.

Enter Women’s Power Circles, which Rosjke started running in 2008. I became a circle member earlier this year, and for six weeks eagerly anticipated meeting up with my new friends. I am sure that every circle is special to its members (limited to maximum 7 women); I was overwhelmed by the rich diversity of backgrounds, talent, experience, knowledge, skill, compassion and feminine strength (sometimes yet to be discovered) that surrounded and supported me each time my circle came together.

Each week we listened and were listened to without judgement; we shared, explored and disclosed as much or as little as we felt comfortable to; cheered each other on for minor and major successes and encouraged anyone who felt they had had a setback; we laughed, cried, celebrated, stepped out of and extended our comfort zones; all in the knowledge that this was a safe and confidential place to be vulnerable while we explored our thoughts and emotions and beliefs.

So what did I gain from my experience? Well it was certainly life-changing, in a subtle rather than dramatic way, and many seeds of change that were planted during those first six weeks will continue to grow and bear fruit in time future. The most immediate benefits though for me were:

- Increased confidence in speaking my truth, in an assertive non-threatening way
- Identifying boundaries that I need to honour to maintain my own integrity
- Valuing my own unique contribution to the world
- Knowing that I share similar emotions and experiences with other women, and they are OK
- A renewed admiration and respect for the way my mother, against many odds, rebelled against “accepted” perceptions, and made my life journey easier as a result

To find out more about Women’s Power Circles, and a Circle near you, please contact sue@resolutions-for-change.co.uk

The Power of Women Working Together

There can be no doubt after yesterday's Women In Business conference that there is a groundswell of women in the East Midlands ready to make a difference in the world.

It is the first time I have attended such a large conference or networking event where everybody I met was so open and willing to share themselves and their experiences for a common aim - to celebrate the successes of the Women of Worth award winners, obviously, but also to support and encourage every woman who is striving for success in business and in life.

Congratulations to K-C Jones conference events for gathering together such an amazing array of inspirational speakers and workshop leaders, and thanks of course to EMDA and the other business agencies who sponsored and supported the event.

I think the quote by Kavita Oberoi that summed it up was from Matthew Arnold:

“If ever the world sees a time when women shall come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a power such as the world has never seen"

How big is your handbag?

I caught myself musing the other day, whilst carrying a rucksack (for my convenience), about the size of bag that we women carry around. This was prompted by the fact that other members of the family had also put in some of their belongings for me to carry (for their convenience).

The same thing used to happen when I had a bigger handbag. I needed a bag large enough to carry my purse - in itself a treasure trove of paper clips, safety pins, plasters, store cards, loyalty cards, credit cards and occasionally some money; make-up bag – in addition to lipsticks etc. containing arnica and rescue remedy in case anybody had a bang or a shock; two sets of keys; cheque book (yes, some businesses still accept them); driving licence; wet wipes; tissues; selection of pens; more recently my reading glasses; and a tape measure – don’t ask!

Inevitably when out and about I would be equipped to cope with practically any situation that arose. The downside was that I would also be asked to carry other people’s wallets, gameboys, mobile phones, hats, sweets, etc. etc. etc.

The easy solution, of course, was to buy a smaller bag, which I did last year – and now just struggle to take out the purse without the specs flying out as well!

On a more serious note, however, which is where my musings began, we often talk about the bag of beliefs that we carry with us through life. Some of our beliefs are inherited from others (my mother always had an extremely equipped shoulder bag), some we develop from our own experiences (I often find the wet wipes useful). Many of them we are not even aware of, yet if they are no longer serving a useful purpose they could be slowing us down unnecessarily. Have you ever found a forgotten sticky toffee lurking in the bottom of your bag? It usually only comes to light if you decide to have a good clear out, or if it starts to cause a problem and then you have to investigate.

So as we move into a New Year, I encourage you to review the contents of your belief bag, and take out the things that you no longer need for your onward journey. If you would like any help with this, please give me a call.

As for my rucksack, I made it clear that I would not be held responsible for the belongings inside that were not my own. So even if other people’s “stuff” is in the same space as yours, you can choose whether or not you want to adopt it as your own.

For example, we are being told many things about the current state of the global economy, few of them positive. The important thing is, do you believe you have what it takes to make 2009 a great year for you? That needs to be in your belief bag.

For this year I wish you all the success that you dare to dream of, and are prepared to work for.

If you want to be sure your beliefs are supporting you as you work towards your dreams, I would love to work with you to make 2009 your best year yet.
sue@resolutions-for-change.co.uk


By the way, those of you who like handbags that are beautiful and different may like to check out the following websites:
www.redshoesmemories.com
www.handbagfever.co.uk